How Courageous Are We (Am I) Really?

Several weeks ago I attended a monthly forum titled “Courageous Conversations” about racism within the City of Austin.  The forums are intended to bring together parishioners from several of the Roman Catholic Churches and has branched out to include Lutheran and Methodist churches here in the area.  The forums began as a response to the many incidents of racial bias and police brutality making national news over the past year.  The desired outcome of these forums still seems to be open for determination, but it seems like a positive step, for now, I think.

At one of the forums, the question was raised concerning the lack of more African-Americans attending.  “Why were they not there in more mass?”  “Why weren’t the historically African American faith congregations joining this discussion, one initiated by leaders in the community dedicated to eliminating systemic racism in our community?” Well, maybe not exact quotes, but they capture the thoughts.  We had close to, if not more, than 100 people in attendance, but the majority of those present were Caucasian.  Where were the African-Americans when whites were ready to talk?

The question that was raised has stuck with me ever since.  It comes to mind with each forum I have attended since then, that seeks to discuss racial intolerance, or intolerances of any kind.  Ironically, many of these forums have also been predominately attended by whites, well, maybe not so ironically.  The question raised prompts several questions from me in reaction.  Why would African Americans want to attend such a forum?  What do they have to gain?  What is the new knowledge they gain about racism?  I think the better question is: What is their fatigue level in listening to “whites” stumble through our awareness building process of understanding our unrecognized bigotry or at least our unintentional participation in sustaining the wheels of systemic racism in our community?  That was a mouthful.

Why does it take several high-profile incidents of police shooting an African-American male to get whites to take notice?  There is enough going on within our own spheres of involvement with regard to racial intolerance, that we don’t really need a national event to raise our radar.  The “velvet glove” of racism as Joseph Barndt refers to it, is woven throughout our immediate social structures.  We (whites just to be clear) really shouldn’t need to be awaken by the occurrences of such violent incidents on national television, or “iron fist” that he refers to.  Just to be clear, I am one of those white.   So, why WOULD African Americans show up for one more conversation about race, as if they don’t know what is going on?” That may seem confusing for us whites who truly with great intention, want to end the systemic presence of racism within our community.  We’re ready, so we think.

It is not the first time that whites have gathered with indignant reactions to such obvious atrocities.  Atrocities are easy to denounce publicly.  It is hard to “rationalize” an atrocity away.  With today’s media and social media capacity, there is usually a paper (well…digital) trail to keep it in the visual forefront, making it difficult for even the staunchest skeptic.  And hey, today, denouncing such an obvious incident doesn’t even hurt!  Haven’t seen a fire-hose at a capital rally in ten years of living in Austin.  Nothing like a good march or protest to the state capital, especially if it is a nice day out.  Just make sure you check the Capital event calendar to pick a good day for a rally.  After all, someone has to set up the podium!  Of course, for those who have trouble getting up in the morning, there is always a good forum or discussion to attend (my preference of choice) where we can act out our support.  Again, I am one of these folk.  It is one of the aspects of white privilege that I enjoy.  I can orchestrate my support at my convenience and level of desired cost.  And I do.

The reality is, it is not like I don’t know what is going on.  I actually even teach about this stuff in my classes.  I think the discussions and the education is important.  It can never end or be enough.  But I often question what it is I actually do to contribute to systemic change.  I think we (whites) have a nostalgic understanding of the Civil Rights Movement, especially those of us actually too young to have lived through it.  Who can’t help but get invigorated by King’s speech on the steps of the Lincoln Monument when he is loudly proclaiming, “Free at Last, Free at Last”.  To be honest however, I am more interested in the “promissory note” he mentions.  My own personal reality is that I was but a babe during the Civil Rights movement.  I have no real memory of that period.  The students I teach now, were no more than five years old at the time of 9/11.  I respect that we have living saints in our midst that “walked with King” (sometimes even ‘Martin’) during the Civil Rights movement and we have much to learn from this period of the fight.  And I am aware as much as I can be today, that marching then, especially in the earlier phrases of the movement beyond national television took an interest, was much different than marching today.  It is important knowledge to know that people have risen up against oppression, often at the risk of bodily harm and social isolation.  But what is the “marching” of our day.  Where are we at today?  We don’t march today with the threat of fire hoses being pointed at us.  What does it cost me, except for my time and inconvenience?  And to be honest, there is usually a good upscale food truck within walking distance of the capital!

When I teach about racism, I define it as prejudice/bigotry + power.  Community organizing defines power as “organized people and organized money.”  The question for me concerns the cost of racial reconciliation.  We can continue to talk, and must never stop in that endeavor, but what does the talk lead us to, what does it lead ME to?  The difficult realization for those of us who enjoy privilege, whether it is economically or culturally, is the urgent need to dismantle the layers of privilege in our culture and in our faith communities along economic, social, cultural, governance, and in expressions of worship.  Let me put that another way, I must dismantle the layers of privilege in my own life.  The dismantling process has a cost.  You are dismantling something someone else has invested in building.  The dismantling also is an internal process as well.  Many of us have built up inside of ourselves our own layers of cultural protection from having to deal with such difficult issues.

Recently in Austin, the BlackLivesMatter movement held a rally at the capital.  The rally  would move to the interstate, for a brief period,  was able close down a section of I-35 which runs through the City of Austin and serves as symbolic and real barrier dividing Austin along racial and economic lines.  The organizer part of me asks the question of what was really accomplished?  There were probably a few citations issued by the police and perhaps some federal charges as well.  But the action did not change anything and in pragmatic side says, not a useful action.  Pretty good rationalizing on my part if I say so myself.

And then there is the privilege side of me that is able to create a series of internal reasons why not to participate.  I might get arrested and for what?  Such an arrest could impact my employment.  I could spend some time in jail and carry an arrest record with me into any future job interviews,  and probably a few other reasons if I thought long enough.  There is the WHITE PRIVILEGE!  The question for me really is, what will it take for me to take a REAL, legitimate stance in the work of breaking down the layers of systemic racism.  I profess a Christian faith that commands me to do so.  And,  I am asking others to be willing to give up of their privilege.  I am not so sure I am willing myself.  It took me a long time to finally acquire it (although I am sure it was there way longer than I knew).  Again, that is the privilege that pulls at me.

So, how long will I be at the table this time to talk about systemic racism?  How long will the whites attending Courageous Conversations be willing to stay the course.  Will we all be willing to look into ourselves to do the internal work of dismantling racism within ourselves, within our churches, workplaces, and social settings.  Within our families?  I hope our African American friends will be patient just a little longer (can’t believe I just asked that) to allow us to catch-up and get it!

(initially posted October 16,2014 on ReachingCampus.com which is now Campus Renewal Magazine)